Description -- Draft 1
Today I am glad to introduce a new friend, Erica Su. Erica Su is living in our school's dormitory. I knew her because she is my best friend's roommate. Erica is from Jingmei (景美), Taipei and she has been to Tainan for almost two mouths. Before Erica moved to Tainan, she lived with her family. There are four people in her family, father, mother, a younger brother and she. Erica's father is a decorator, her mother is working in Bureau of Labor Insurance (勞工保險局), and her younger brother is a first-grade of junior high school student.Erica's major is Finance in Southern Taiwan University of Technology. According to what she learns, she wants to become a civil servant at a bank or sales in the future, because she likes a challenging job. Moreover, Erica hopes that she has a chance to go abroad to broaden her knowledge before she starts her working. She wants to go to Japan or Europe after graduating.
In Erica's free time, she likes reading some books about management, watching movie such as science fiction films, listening English music and going shopping and so on... Erica also has lots of skills, which she likes to do in her spare time sometimes, such as playing the piano and the flute, cooking and learning Japanese.
It is my first time to interview Erica. I think Erica is a lovely girl who personality is easygoing, independent and optimistic. Erica knows what is she have to do and what is she wants to do all the time, so she has a great aim in the future. Moreover, Erica is very talented because she has lots of skills. I really learn many things from her.
During the time I have interviewed to Erica, I really appreciate her thought and what she have planned with her future because it is really clear, she also works hard to let her dream comes true. Erica and I are good friends now and her spirit of hard working is very touching to me that I want to set her as my sample.
posted by ********* @ 10:41 AM
5 Comments:
spelling mistake-...for two "months", not "mouths"! ^^
Please leave comments for me, thank you ^^
1.The second paragraph...I remember that we can not put comma before because.
2. The fourth paragraph "I think Erica is a lovely girl who personality is easygoing, independent and optimistic."
I think you can change to "Erica is a lovely girl whose personality is easygoing, independent and optimistic."
Taipei and she has been to Tainan for almost two "months"
Erica knows what is she "has" to do and what is she wants to do all the time,
I really appreciate her thought and what she "has" planned with her future because it is really clear
1.Today,( you need a comma here) I am glad to introduce a new friend
2.She wants to go to Japan or Europe after graduating.( should be graduation)
Dear Flora:
you wrote a lot of information in your paragraph. There is one sentence that I think you can write it better."Erica knows what is she have to do and what is she wants to do all the time, so she has a great aim in the future."
In this sentence, you don't put is in it->Erica knows what she has to do and what she wants to to all the time.....
Ps. Don't forget give me a comments. Thank you
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